Saturday, June 22, 2013

His Noodly Appendage is much too phallic

Bored now that PZ has crushed Catholicism through his host desecration, the FreeThoughtBloggers have turned their sights on the holy church of Pastafarianism.

Kate D in a post entitled "Proposed: That We’d Just Be Better Off If We Forgot About That Flying Spaghetti Monster Stuff" writes:

It’s not that the original Flying Spaghetti Monster wasn’t a useful allegory–in fact, it was a hilarious allegory with enough snark to give us atheists yearsof rib-elbowing and behind-hand snickering. It’s just that now, it’s become part of the dialect, if you will. OMFSM. Pastafarians. Whatever this was.
And I think, as this movement focuses more on social justice [...] we need to take a look at things like this:
[Excerpted from The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster]
[....]
Q: If there’s a Beer Volcano and a Stripper Factory in Heaven, what’s FSM Hell like?
A: We’re not entirely certain, but we imagine it’s similar to FSM Heaven, only the beer is stale and the strippers have venereal diseases. Not unlike Las Vegas.
Sorry, one of the big in-jokes in atheism has a stripper factory? A factory? Like the sort where inanimate objects are made? And simultaneously, we’re looking about for reasons women are less likely to be atheists than men?
Oh, there’s male strippers too:
[FSM Gospel] Q: Are there male strippers in FSM Heaven for women?
A: Probably, but they are invisible to the non-homo guys.
Cuz it wouldn’t be heaven if straight men had to see nearly-naked dudes!
[FSM Gospel] Antarctica, the cursed, is the continent that is the Pastafarian equivalent to Christianity’s Hell. The Beer Volcano froze over millennia ago, the strippers wear big bulky parkas and snow pants, and the place is covered in ice and snow.
Yeah, the real problem is when strippers cover up. That’s hell. </sarcasm>
I’d like to argue that this is not, perhaps, the face we want to put on our message. We do not want the intrepid high school google-er, sitting at her computer when her parents are out, trying to find out more about her unbelief and why there keep being pasta jokes and coming upon….Stripper Factory.
Oh, but you say, it’s just become part of what we do. It’s offhand! Most people don’t even know the whole thing about the Kansas School Board and the book and most of the people who do know about the book haven’t read it–and—–
Really?
Have you recently told a Christian they can’t just pick and choose the gay friendly parts of the bible, or giggled along as a Family Values Politician divorced–what does his bible have to say about that? Did you let them get away with pleading ignorance, or that it was the main message that was important? But you want me to ignore the strippers, because the important part is about teaching science in school?
I think not.


What Pastarfarianism portrays: The Pastafarian heaven is an obvious stereotypical immature hedonistic male fantasy. Like many religions, it speaks to the would-be wishes of a bunch of dudes of a particular time. The comparison is made purposefully in order to adequately mock religious wish thinking as the same time as it speaks to the patriarchal nature of many religions.

The parody doubles down when it applies a ham-fisted afterthought approach to equality in the afterlife. What would women and homosexuals want in a heaven? Strippers of a different kind, of course! Problem solved! Every religion carries this theme.

What "Feminists" read: The parody, to feminists, is just another half-assed rape joke that cannot be saved.

Many 'feminists' seem to actually think so lowly of males that they expect that a fembot stripper factory would actually be appealing to a broad set of males in a very literal sense. Somehow even talking about a stripper factory leads the tender male minds into sexually abusive tendencies.

This is where the discussion typically ends. There is no where to go from here. The misogyny brand has been applied to another organization, and tomorrow the selfsame critique will be directed somewhere else.

The largest hole in this blogging behavior is the microscope is never directed at certain people. People too close to criticize publicly.

Can we think of any?


Pastafarianism is preferable to worshipping The Bearded Taint.

As we continue down this road, it is becoming clear that Atheism Plus/Twitter 'feminism' isn't capable of mocking religion.

Atheism Plus exists merely to copy religion.

1 comment:

  1. I've just installed iStripper, so I can have the hottest virtual strippers stripping on my desktop.

    ReplyDelete