Saturday, January 2, 2016

Islam is Tinder for Terrorists

Recently a young married couple decided it was a good idea to abandon their child and commit their lives to doing murdering public health employees attending a holiday party in San Bernardino, California.

One would hope that this remains a rare event, as it is not everyday that a religiously inspired Bonny & Clyde decide to wage war on coworkers. Syed Farook and Tashfeen Malik may currently hold the title of being the worst serial killer dynamic duo in modern history, unmatched by the sadism of David & Catherine, Paul & Karla and a long list of other examples of disgusting human beings.

But it may be wrong to think of this being an isolated incident - for as it turns out this particular form of lovestruck lunacy isn't as rare as one might think. As it turns out, Allah's brand of terrible twosomes might be catching on.

Some examples:

Aafia Saddiqui & Majid Khan - the classic drama of two Guantanamo-bound beaus.

Jaelyn Young & Muhammad Dakhlalla - inspiring story of two sweetheart graduates leaving a college town in Mississippi to join the Islamic State. 

Sana Ahmed Khan & Mohammed Rehman - heartwarming tale of two lovebirds planning to blow up the London Underground and a shopping centre. 

Hoda Muthana - cosmopolitan adventure of a young hijabi leaving the University of Alabama to marry an Australian jihadist in Syria. 

Khadiza Sultana, Amira Abase & Shamima Begum - the delightful drama of three empowered feminist teens from the progressive enclave of Bethnal Green leave for Syria to become jihadi brides. 

Unfortunately even this is not a complete list of the men and women that have found romance in the life of murdering infidels. With the exception of Aafia Saddiqui, this list is entirely examples only from the past several years. Doing a proper analysis may paint an even more depressing picture.

Often the picture of a mass shooter is one that very closely outlines that of Marc L├ępine or Elliot Rodger. It would be fair to believe that Islamist terrorism follows a similar story - the story of a young sexually frustrated man choosing to kill as revenge for not being granted the things he feels entitled to.

However Islamists have no problem finding mates. Jihad is the opposite of loneliness - when a jihadist kills dozens of people, they do it knowing that their friends and loved ones will be uploading the results to YouTube complete with an awful sounding nasheed. Jihad has as many fangirls as it does fanboys.

The kidnapping and forced conversion of 219 girls by Boko Haram and ISIS' rape of
Yazidi women has given the west a distorted view of Islamism. It's simple to imagine Islamist groups as a type of "lost boys", as if they were led by a well armed version of Peter Pan.

The reality however is a truth that is uncomfortable to many - the fact that many psychotic religious serial murderers have better luck finding a date than many of the pitiful infidels thumbing their way through the dating apps on their iPhones on a chilly Friday night. This happens because there are millions of privileged families that fill their girl's heads with a distorted superstitious view of the universe that is judgmental and frightened of outsiders. It's the basis needed for this pipeline.

After all, a pious girl could choose to take up law, medicine or engineering, yet it is a path fraught with temptation, sin and danger. Why commit oneself to a life that may lean to habitual listening to music or being alone with non-mahram men? One might end up touching a penis in a way that Allah does not approve - and then one's soul is forfeit. It is far simpler to commit oneself to the unquestionably Islamic freedom fighters that are not afraid to always stand against such impropriety. 

And the beards. Yes, the beards.

It'd be a sin to not swipe right.

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